What part of NO did you miss?

I'v got a bumper sticker on the wall in my office that reads "The internet: where you can meet millions of losers." That quote seems to apply so well sometimes, when you run an IRC server. Take the following case. While not as lame as "superuser" this young lady managed to make a pretty thorough fool of herself in our aptly named Admin channel.

What we have here, is a person who doesn't seem to grock why admins don't like to give warscripts to people who can't figure out how to find them on the web. If you're enough of a (l)user that you can't find it in Google - or someplace like Security Focus, or AntiOnline, or Rootshell - you're enough of a (l)user that we sure aren't going to help you find 'em!

In any case, without further adiue, we present the latest lamer to strike Stormcenter's admin channel...


<Bagheera> BOC duets...

<Bagheera> Cool.

*** BlinDrEEp (blindreepe@host213-1-83-128.btinternet.com) has joined #live_fire

<jenstar> Was I even close??

<BlinDrEEp> oh great

<Bagheera> Dead on, I think.

<BlinDrEEp> hi there

<BlinDrEEp> im from england

<Bagheera> Hello.

<BlinDrEEp> janus stark....

<BlinDrEEp> i love them

<jenstar hey woo!

<BlinDrEEp> cool

<BlinDrEEp> who r u lot then...

<Bagheera> No colors, please.

<BlinDrEEp> ok sorry

<BlinDrEEp> but y

* BlinDrEEp can i do this

<BlinDrEEp> hello..

<BlinDrEEp> !ping

<Bagheera> Sure. Just no colors.

<BlinDrEEp> fine avec moi alors..

<BlinDrEEp> tu pet skateboard

<Bagheera> And stick to english...

<BlinDrEEp> ok

<BlinDrEEp> can u skateboard

<BlinDrEEp> or dont u do it?

* jenstar does not

* Bagheera remembers when urathane wheels were new...

<BlinDrEEp> this is boring dos n e one chat

<Bagheera> This is an admin channel.

<BlinDrEEp> whts that

<BlinDrEEp> admin..?

<Bagheera> Try #chatzone or something

<BlinDrEEp> this server has hardly n e one on it

<BlinDrEEp> !y!

<Bagheera> It's a channel where people who run the servers hang out between panic attacks.

<Bagheera> Right now, yeah. It picks up later.

<BlinDrEEp> theres 1 person in chatzone

<BlinDrEEp> in newnet il chicago

<BlinDrEEp> thee millions of ppl

<Bagheera> This isn't newnet.

<BlinDrEEp> here theres lie...110 in the hole server

<Bagheera> Or dalnet, or undernet or efnet...

<BlinDrEEp> yeah..y r u in this server

<BlinDrEEp> its//..poo

<BlinDrEEp> ;)

<Bagheera> Because I OWN the damn thing.

<BlinDrEEp> i want to cee an english server!

<BlinDrEEp> i cant find n e

<BlinDrEEp> do u know one

<Bagheera> We used to have one in England.

<BlinDrEEp> do u know the names of ne

<BlinDrEEp> english servers

<Bagheera> Not off hand. I don't pay much attention to other nets.

<BlinDrEEp> how do i find them

<BlinDrEEp> i always chat in us..

<BlinDrEEp> i wan chat to ppl near to me

<BlinDrEEp> in the uk

<Bagheera> Try a web search for "IRC server england"

<BlinDrEEp> how....u mean on internet exploer

<BlinDrEEp> ?

<BlinDrEEp> like on a yahoo search or somin

<BlinDrEEp> ?cant you do it on mirc

<Bagheera> Whatever browser you use. Try google or lycos.

* jenstar needs to get her son to the Dr.....

* Bagheera doesn't use mIRC

<BlinDrEEp> ok cheers

<Bagheera> Later, jen.

I'll be back tonight around 11:15 pm

<BlinDrEEp> u want n e nuke progs or n e thing

<BlinDrEEp> hehe

<BlinDrEEp> lame ass stuff

<Bagheera> Very lame, yes.

*** jenstar has quit (Exit: hail Bagheera, the all knowing and patient one!)

<BlinDrEEp> indeed

* Bagheera chuckles

<BlinDrEEp> but can i ask u somin

<BlinDrEEp> i have explot gen n loads of nuke stuff but...

<Bagheera> Hmmm?

<BlinDrEEp> have u gopt the flood thing that worx in irc..u know ping flood

<BlinDrEEp> i havent got yet

<Bagheera> Ok. Before you ask anything else, do you really think it's a good idea to go into a server admin channel and ask for netwar tools?

<BlinDrEEp> no..not 4 war

<Bagheera> Those programs are useless for anything else.

<BlinDrEEp> so that i can test my stuff..cee if it is well preotected

<BlinDrEEp> there not

<BlinDrEEp> i can test my networxs

<BlinDrEEp> ce if they r well protected

<Bagheera> Try looking at one of the security sites.

<BlinDrEEp> where r they

<BlinDrEEp> i got firewalls etc from signal9.com..

<BlinDrEEp> where r the security sites...

<BlinDrEEp> u must have the flood prog.

<Bagheera> Do a web search. To be honest, if you need to ask a question that basic, I have to worry about the netwoprks you're running.

<BlinDrEEp> hm..u caught on i cee

<BlinDrEEp> i just need the prog..cause my channel..really i need it

<BlinDrEEp> i wont even b here again

<BlinDrEEp> im always in newnet

<BlinDrEEp> cant u just help me this once

<BlinDrEEp> :)

<Bagheera> Then why not go back and see if you can get a newnet admin to give you script kiddie tools.

<BlinDrEEp> na nah

<BlinDrEEp> kiddie tools..hehe

<BlinDrEEp> look

<Bagheera> Honestly, no.

<BlinDrEEp> itll take u 10 secs..plzz

<BlinDrEEp> il giv u somin in return

<Bagheera> And what are you planning on giving me?

<BlinDrEEp> n e thing..advertising

<BlinDrEEp> on web pages?

<BlinDrEEp> whatever..

<BlinDrEEp> plz zhelp me out

<BlinDrEEp> please.

<Bagheera> Ok, for one thing, the flood pingers are DoS tools and you have no nead for them.

<BlinDrEEp> ok..

<BlinDrEEp> somin along thjose lines..then..that works

<BlinDrEEp> my nukes r like melishka or winnuke or darknuke...they dun work when they need to

<Bagheera> They're only useful for attacking other people's nets, and, to be quite honest, I spend most of my time pole axeing people who do that.

<Bagheera> They NEVER need to. Nuking people is lame.

<BlinDrEEp> ok..but a simple tool to discnoect an anoying child..

<BlinDrEEp> someone whos always bugging

<Bagheera> I have one of those right here...

<BlinDrEEp> u must have somin,.

<Bagheera> I do. Yes.

<BlinDrEEp> dont b sarcy though

<BlinDrEEp> please

<Bagheera> You want it?

<BlinDrEEp> send..dont use it on me

<BlinDrEEp> lol

<BlinDrEEp> can u send it to me...

*** BlinDrEEp has quit (Killed (Bagheera (Asking an admin for script kiddie tools is too lame for words.)))

<Bagheera> By, son...

*** BlinDrEEp (blindreepe@host213-1-83-128.btinternet.com) has joined #live_fir

<Bagheera> Read the MOTD and tell me why I did that.

<BlinDrEEp> y cant u just help meout

<Bagheera> I repeat.

<BlinDrEEp> plase..il leave after..

<BlinDrEEp> i know i know

<Bagheera> Read the MOTD and tell me why you werews /killed and why I'm not giving you any tools.

<BlinDrEEp> being lame..repeated lameness ok..

<Bagheera> Warscripts are lame

<Bagheera> People who use them are lame.

<BlinDrEEp> at least i didnt say asl or ask for ops..

<Bagheera> That's true.

<BlinDrEEp> ok so im lame...

<BlinDrEEp> but im young..

<BlinDrEEp> u must have done it at some point in ur life

<BlinDrEEp> right?

<Bagheera> Actually, no. I never went through the script kiddie stage.

<BlinDrEEp> but i would like to before moving up..isa that ok?

<Bagheera> Probably because I remember when the Internet was a bunch of mainframes.

<Bagheera> Ok, you want some friendly advice?

<BlinDrEEp> the stage ll pass..then il forget it...but 4 now...

<BlinDrEEp> advice..

<Bagheera> Yeah. Advice.

<BlinDrEEp> u type slow..or is this lagging

<BlinDrEEp> !ping

<Bagheera> I've got four windows open.

<BlinDrEEp> humm..continue

<Bagheera> You're not my highest priority, sorry.

<BlinDrEEp> really? u dun ay

<Cricket (brb, gotta run up two flights of stairs)

<Bagheera> A: Forget trying to be a netwarrior. It's lame and annoying.

<BlinDrEEp> but i would help some one else..

<Bagheera> B: get a real OS in your computer.

<BlinDrEEp> if they needed it

<BlinDrEEp> infact i have numerous times

<BlinDrEEp> OS?

<Bagheera> C: Understand what you're trying to do before you go asking for tools that are only used to hurt other people.

<Bagheera> Operating System.

<BlinDrEEp> ok..but y the qs..can u help or not

<BlinDrEEp> its a small favour thats it.

<BlinDrEEp> its a mans world and it hard for me to survive

<Bagheera> For the last time. I am NOT giving you any warscripts, tools, or programs.

<BlinDrEEp> ok!

<Bagheera> No. It's not "a man's world."

<BlinDrEEp> boys try to say how flashy they r n id just liek to show emm off the court

<Bagheera> It's the Net. It's script kiddied who make it annoying for the rest of us.

<BlinDrEEp> u cee.

<BlinDrEEp> but im a gal

<BlinDrEEp> its dif

<Bagheera> Ignore them.

<BlinDrEEp> please

<BlinDrEEp> hard to ignore whe

<Bagheera> read. Learn. Learn to defend yourself, then don't bother attacking.

<BlinDrEEp> they dsconnect n stuff

<Bagheera> Get a better OS than Winblows.

<BlinDrEEp> its bad n annoying

<BlinDrEEp> windows

<BlinDrEEp> ok..so ur not helpin moi todya?

<BlinDrEEp> at leats tell me..

<BlinDrEEp> who will help me out.

<Bagheera> Here? No one. None of the admins will give you tools to attack people.

<BlinDrEEp> its unfair...

<Bagheera> No. It's not unfair at all.

<BlinDrEEp> il go and brush my hair then...

<Bagheera> Enjoy.

<BlinDrEEp> and put on some make up

<BlinDrEEp> y dun u have a chanserv in ere?

<Bagheera> We have Merlin.

<BlinDrEEp> ./msg chanserv register?

<BlinDrEEp> i cee

<BlinDrEEp> y aint you aop'ed

<BlinDrEEp> or oped

<Bagheera> I don't need to.

<BlinDrEEp> fine,,,byr then old man

<BlinDrEEp> LOL!

<Bagheera> Bye little girl.

<BlinDrEEp> little

<BlinDrEEp> im 16

<BlinDrEEp> i aint little

<Bagheera> Young enough to be my daughter.

<BlinDrEEp> atall

<BlinDrEEp> so

<BlinDrEEp> and ur old enough to b my father...

<BlinDrEEp> duhh

<BlinDrEEp> wait...no..old enough to b my mother

<BlinDrEEp> wait.......

<BlinDrEEp> forget it

<Bagheera> Good plan that.

<BlinDrEEp> indeed

<BlinDrEEp> it is

<BlinDrEEp> bye then

<Bagheera> You want to learn how to keep people from blowing you away, we could help.

<BlinDrEEp> can u

<Bagheera> You want to learn to blow people off the Net, look elsewhere.

<BlinDrEEp> firewall...nahhh

<BlinDrEEp> how can u help me....?

<BlinDrEEp> can u help me..?

<Bagheera> Probably.

<BlinDrEEp> bag....boy

<BlinDrEEp> now//?

<BlinDrEEp> :)

<Bagheera> First step is to stay off nets where people are trying to blow you away.

<BlinDrEEp> OHH GO AWAY

<BlinDrEEp> i mean progs..

<BlinDrEEp> ur wastin my time artbn you

<Bagheera> Second step is to flush your Windows 9x CD down the toilet.

<BlinDrEEp> y r u bored or somin

<BlinDrEEp> go away

<BlinDrEEp> ur dumb

*** BlinDrEEp has quit (Killed (Bagheera (BZZZZT Thanks for playing)))

*** BlinDrEEp (blindreepe@host213-1-83-128.btinternet.com) has joined #live_fir

<Bagheera> No. YOU go away for a bit...

<BlinDrEEp> so big!

<BlinDrEEp> ur so good

<BlinDrEEp> baby

<BlinDrEEp> haah

<Bagheera> Wow. Persistant aren;t you.

<BlinDrEEp> indeed

<BlinDrEEp> i am

<Cricket> back

<BlinDrEEp> im englsih

<BlinDrEEp> after all

<BlinDrEEp> lol

*** BlinDrEEp has quit (Exit: i hate u..lame ass old man

<Bagheera> ml gline *blindreepe@*.btinternet.com c6 Lameness will not be tolerated.

<Bagheera> No. English does NOT mean clueless...


I honestly hope this kid found herself a good firewall (For Winblows? Yeah, right...) because with that attitude, she's going to need it!